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Why do we need a Melania documentary? You can sum up her story in 3 sentences.
- Arranged marriage with a douchebag because she didn’t want to work.
- Douchebag became president.
- Now she’s miserable because not only does she have to pretend to like the douchebag, but also she has to do stuff, because she’s technically the first lady.
We don’t. But the orange king is the greatest ever and that’s why his wife must be good too. Which is why this film.
4. She gets to look forward to being buried in an unmarked grave on a golf course.
Who gives a fuck about Christmas trees?
I think I get what You were going for. She’s just an ornament. Nobody gives a fuck about ornaments. But You used the wrong metaphor, as a Christmas tree is more than just an ornament :p
This is completely untrue…
I’d be surprised if a single person has walked out of this movie, because when people look on Fandango or other apps for tickets, literally no one is buying tickets.
You can’t walk out during if you never walked in to begin with.
Unfortunately people are buying tickets. Church groups are buying tickets. Political campaigns are buying tickets. They’re not going to actually watch the movie. But they’re buying the tickets.
Did you miss the “if they showed this film on a plane” bit?
Isn’t it Amazon?
Why would anyone watch a documentary about such an uninteresting person? The most interesting thing she has ever done is wear that stupid hat. Possibly followed by wearing the shirt that said “fuck poor people” or whatever it said. And clearly those things are not that interesting. That‘s just stuff she has worn.
She has literally done nothing with her life.
But Americans are fascinated with gold digging whores who do nothing. See Kim Kardashian.
Not that Kim is a pinnacle of achievement, but she is clearly more accomplished than melania
Does it count as golddigging if you were born into ridiculous wealth?
First rule of gold-digging is: never stop gold-digging.
Their fantasy is to be gold digging whore. It’s a vicarious thing.
Hell I wouldn’t mind being a gold digging whore. Just nobody will let me.
It was made as a bribe
They can force someone to make it. I don’t think they can force someone to watch it. Though A Clockwork Orange might not be far away.
every so often you get to appreciate a burn that is so sublime it’s nearly perfection achieved
The former porn model?
Alternate Universe Back to the Future:
Doc Brown: Then tell me, future boy, who’s the first lady of the United States in 2025?
Marty McFly: Melania Trump
Doc Brown: Melania Trump!? The porn model!?
Melania? (makes ankles-behind-the-ears gesture) HER?
Melania’s movie is how the filthy rich with dwindling prospects do Tinder.
It’s clearly an ad for marriage for after Donald dies.
Pretty good, but still doesn’t take the crown:
“If this film were playing on Salma Hayek’s back while I rode her like a mechanical bull, you could not pay me to watch it.”
Certainly the fucknut Christian Fascists will watch the shit movie about their heroine.
Will they though? I know all the chuds say she’s the best FL ever and oh beautiful model etc etc, but sitting through details about how she picks out her hats or whatever the fuck? Or even if it was more detailed about her life in Slovenia.
I just can’t picture the type of person this movie would appeal to.
Bro this is pumpin Melania Coin
They’re wanting an Oscar. He got a nobel now he wants an Oscar. Predictable.
🏆
