They’re cold. I know my dog appreciates a cozy sweater after the bath (she told me), but I usually do two because the first one can sometimes be a little damp.

That usually happens when you’re working backwards from presumptive guilt to fabricate evidence.

Vagina stuff. AKA sex.

Don’t tell me you did it missionary!

Is there some problem that is bricking Switch 2?

Sadly, I think the only way we get a female president is if all candidates are female. AOC vs. MTG would be a good history maker.

Proportionately, that corn was probably pretty hard to pass.

What was your most enjoyable activity?

I’m super curious about voter turnout.

3 dead, 11 injured. 3 pilots on the plane, which they haven’t confirmed dead but…

That is a lot of onions.

Inadequately…inept.

Yeah, that’s all I see here on Lemmy. Every American whining about immigrants.

Whoopi wearing a boot on her right foot and a flip flop on her left.

Bed bugs. The internet will tell you they only bite in a straight line, but that’s horse shit. Look up bed bug bites and you’ll see clusters like this, too.

What ever do you mean?

I’m sorry, do you think I don’t know basic fucking math? I’m saying your parameters are bullshit.

Sleep is an “obligation” and not a necessity? Are you a robot?

Good attempt, but I can’t exercise in my sleep or at work, so it’s closer to 16%. Subtract all the other necessities eating up free time like cooking, commuting, hygiene and household chores and it isn’t such a minuscule amount.

Add some canned chicken and call it Chicken Alfredo.

I like you, you’re a hoot.

That is true. This meme is a phony. Why are we laughing at things that aren’t demonstrably true, everyone?

Are we so sure that a chicken even crossed the road?

Edit: We had this discussion seven years ago.