As kids we used to go around collecting them from the neighbors, make a nice pile, give it a light, then enjoy the 10 seconds of fun

Now you’re talking about big boy money the small billionaires just don’t have.

It’s a rapidly evolving matter. And $5b just doesn’t go as far as it did an hour ago.

That’s one fucking nice kitty right there

I really wish I had thought of that answer 30 years ago when old people asked me to fix this.

Time to cash in on that sweet sweet tariff money?

Something something HAARP…

I’ve already doubled up on the number of healing crystals I put in my shoes.

Let me find that article on the Dunning-Kruger Times…

Don’t let this distract you from the the fact that in 1966, Al Bundy scored four touchdowns in a single game while playing for the Polk High School Panthers in the 1966 city championship game versus Andrew Johnson High School, including the game-winning touchdown in the final seconds against his old nemesis, Bubba “Spare Tire” Dixon.

That’s how I feel every sandwich looks because there’s no light mayo option in the app.

There’s an episode of The Rifleman on this.

I think you hit upon an idea they didn’t think about. ICE has a new role! Masked food police.

We tried giving people boots with straps to pull themselves up, but that didn’t work either.

Nobody knew it would be so complicated.

I don’t know about your experience, but home Depot gets angry every time I’ve tried a new one.

“from my heart to…” Uhh yea, he’s a Nazi

HAVE YOU NOT HEARD THE MAN SPEAK?!?!? The biggest best beautiful speaker ever.

I saw that all trade talks are off with Canada. So that will free up at least 15 seconds per day.

Even if people idiots accept that is true which I doubt, no one ever mentions the ongoing maintenance, staffing, etc… that we will be absorbing indefinitely.