These are both brilliant. I applaud you!

There’s a thing going around on Facebook saying that if violence starts, you should just sit down in place. If all of the actual protesters do that, it’ll be pretty obvious the violence is coming from provacateurs.

I have several Jira tickets that would like a word with you.

He’s not playing 5-d chess, he’s playing Uno!

Crap. I can’t believe I missed that.