My interpretation: the author of the comic is reflecting on a time when they dismissed their feeling of gender incongruence as a phase, which turned out to be totally wrong. I don’t see this as advancing a strong message to gender questioning people that they should act on their feelings in a particular way. It’s one person’s expression of personal experience, and relevant to this community. I really think that’s about as deep as this goes.

Fucking really?

Relaxed? They pace back and forth like they’re awaiting a jury verdict.

You’re more than welcome, and I’m glad you posted here.💙

I agree that the right friends give you a big push to do the right things. Personally I have a tendency to base my entire self worth on my ability to please others, eroding my sense of self in the process. But that’s my thing that I shouldn’t project onto you. I just hope that you’ll be careful that what you’re doing is satisfying your social needs, rather than using other people as a substitute for self actualisation. Dating, however, can be a huge risk if you’re feeling emphatically lonely, as you’re more sensitive to rejection, real or perceived, and it can push you down deeper. Be careful out there.

Congrats on the training and interviewing! I really hope that place works out for you. If there’s any part of you feeling shame for being a “dropout” or having a sparse CV, let that go. All that matters now is that you’re active, you’re learning, and you’re trying. Good employers care that you’re doing stuff now. No one else is thinking about your failures and false starts.

It sounds like you were holding out hope that the pieces of your life would fall into place in the course of transition. It must be crushing to still feel so lost. The obvious first thing is to resume therapy. You’re thinking about doing it, the rest of your post screams that you should do it, other people are commenting that you should do it. Don’t delay it. Especially if finding a therapist is a pain the ass, which I assume means looking for one now won’t pay off for a long time.

Regarding the failed friendships, I can only say that the lifecycle of adult friendships is often short and it isn’t necessarily a reflection on you. Also, a staggering number of people just don’t put in the work to keep friendships alive. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Keep reaching out, but if people aren’t reaching back… Meh.

I don’t want to sound preachy about alcohol. You’re already on top of that. I just want to say that as a previously pretty light drinker, I still feel the benefit of stopping entirely. I do sometimes miss the ritual of a glass of red while cooking dinner, but not enough to go back to it.

You said that you like running, and that’s one activity you haven’t mentioned doing in a group. Would you consider joining a running or hiking group? It seems like a low pressure way to incorporate other people into your lifestyle.

I also struggle to conceive of a fulfilling life without a romantic partner, but I try to steer myself towards appreciating the platonic relationships I’ve made and will continue to make. I also know that my loneliness is worse than it should be. I resent my own company, and seek the company of others to avoid myself. Solitude in moderate doses should not be torture. Again, therapy. I don’t think it’s wise to focus on your hypothetical partner, as it can blind you to how rich and varied life can be outside of that pursuit. Be open to it, but don’t fixate on it.

You didn’t elaborate on why you can’t keep a job for long, but you’re clearly an intelligent and tenacious person, and I get the feeling that you’re just taking jobs to get by rather than looking for one that makes you tick. I wonder if that’s tied to your low self esteem, because you don’t believe you deserve a more fulfilling job. Something that takes up as much of your life as a job does should feel somewhat rewarding aside from the money you’re making. Also, as someone who’s lacking sufficient human connection, you shouldn’t be settling for a lonely job. By that I mean either a job performed in solitude, or a workplace with a shitty culture.

A lot of what you’re saying resonates with me, except I’m very early in my transition, so it’s kind of like you’re reminding me how important it is to keep working on myself. I’m not magically going to become the woman I want to be because of hormones and surgeries. Loving oneself and feeling valid in this world is still its own endeavour. As important as it is to find kinship with others, it should never be at the expense of being who you are.

Thank you for creating merciful content!

Let’s go deeper.

I feel so much more comfortable and authentic being heavily feminine. If I were to drop absolutely every shred of learned masculinity, it would be jarring to people who know me. I’m balancing shedding my made–up masculine past with staying at least somewhat recognisable as the person they first met. I don’t know how necessary this is, but that’s the mental gymnastics I’m dealing with right now.

• Break the masculine habits of the past
• Be feminine enough for the people who might think you’re not “making an effort”
• Don’t be so feminine that people will think you’re playing a character

What? No! My 420K, is what I’m sure I meant.

What’s with the vertical line on the right? Is that to illustrate where the third dimension would appear?

Congratulations! I feel like the potential for euphoria has been somewhat hampered by tensions with your family lately, so it’s really nice to hear about the good things that are happening for you. 💙

Name and gender change is the gift that keeps on giving. The day my birth certificate arrived, the first time I saw my name on my banking app, my superannuation account, my health insurance, my cervical cancer screening reminder (not necessary but thanks for thinking of me, Department of Health), and so many other little things. For the first couple of weeks I was doing involuntary squealing happy dances every time I got a new card or a letter from a government agency. The term “euphoria” had never felt more appropriate.

All squares are rectangles, but it is true that none of these rectangles are squares.

That’s crazy! I was gonna say “blue, but I guess green makes sense too”, and honestly I only think less of green in this case because it appears to be smaller.

Did you find that socially isolating at all? On one hand, and probably more a thought from my adult brain than something I would have agreed with back then, one doesn’t want friendships that are predicated on such things. On the other hand, it sure looked like they were having a lot of fun playing Pokémon, whereas I didn’t know the first thing about it. It would have been an easy thing to use as common ground.

Watching your friend’s Tamagotchi while they’re away sounds almost humiliating though.

My sister and I, aged 9 and 6 respectively, were sitting in the car waiting for our father to grab a couple of things from the supermarket. My sister pointed at a girl sitting on a bench outside the store playing with a Tamagotchi. I’d never heard of it. My sister described it to me, and I liked the idea a lot. It sounded like this thing would be my friend, and I didn’t have a lot of those.

“Tell mum and dad to get you one!” I remember this phrasing, because it made me uncomfortable to even think of telling my parents to do anything for me. It bothered me that she felt it was acceptable to demand things like this. I did ask my father though, and he heaved a sigh before relenting. He’d bought one for one of his children, so he knew he couldn’t deny the other one. Maybe that’s why my sister thought I was in a strong position to be demanding.

At the toy shop, my father asked the store clerk for a Tamagotchi in a defeated and despairing way. “Oh yeah they all want those bloody things now, don’t they?” I can’t remember the exact quote, but I remember the two grown-ups agreeing that these Tamagotchi things are stupid and annoying. It was very clear that I was pushing my father into doing something he didn’t want to do, and enduring something he found bothersome in the future. I stood there in shame as he paid for the thing I was now pretty sure I didn’t want.

In my bedroom that evening, I pulled out the little tab that isolated the battery, and the Tamagotchi sprung to life. It didn’t feel like a friend at all. It felt like a dirty little secret. I played with it for a few minutes, but I just felt so guilty. By the next time I picked it up, the battery was almost dead. I wished so much that I had never asked for that thing.

I don’t think I experience 90s nostalgia in the same way as the majority of my peers. I remember the feel of the 90s, but all of these little toys and gadgets were things my parents despised, and either refused to have in the house, or begrudgingly allowed in very small doses while making their contempt for them very clear. Maybe that was for the best in a lot of ways, but it boxed me out of the 90s childhood that many seem to remember very fondly.

Maybe it’s wishful thinking, but I think I’m more on course to look like my aunt.

Li shouldn’t have to eat alone. Seeing this depiction of her eating alone makes me sad. And a bit panicked. Like I need to run to her and let her know that it’s okay to eat. She can take as long as she likes, and have as much as she wants. Of course, if it were me, I’d hate having someone sit with me while I eat. I wouldn’t want her to see that. My disgusting gluttony. So is this about me? Do I wish someone had run to me when I was shamefully eating by myself as a child, and told me it was okay and that I didn’t need to rush?

You know sometimes the stupidest shit really hits me like a freight train.

Thank you for creating relatable content. 💙

Avoiding character ambiguity is a very cool and normal thing to do.

This is precisely what I meant, and I’m glad it came across. 💙