whenever i see his name i’m just like

she lies and says she’s in love with him

can’t find a fetterman

so true. if you walk up to me in the middle of the night and ask me if i will have sex with you, i’ll probably say yes

shouldn’t there be an easy fix to this madness? just give trump a bright shiny trophy and tell him he earned it all by himself, like a big boy

eric the red still trolling n00bs from beyond the grave i see

wait till you get one of those neuralink chips and you’re forced to like all of elon’s tweets

from now on he’s gona be concerned, making texts like “hi son, have you had your daily cock yet?”

TIL it’s 2018

trump is almost 80 and acts like he’s almost 8

and then if you’re like me and you’re too lazy to type out zsearch every time you just do

alias z="zsearch"

my google search history is cursed but my zsh history is blessed because i can just do

zsearch() { cat ~/.zsh_history | grep "$1" }

hang on let me check my frog folder

i have 684 frogs in my frog folder

The Proud Boys always struck me as something that started off as a joke and then got taken seriously by the wrong people. kinda like how 4chan’s /pol/ board used to be mostly ironic shitposts before it got overrun by actual nazis

i dunno man if you turn off the news and only look at headlines occasionally, the world doesn’t seem like it’s falling apart. i mean it definitely is, but from where you’re standing everything seems fine. works for me

i just got a vision of a future headline

“House Democrat Legislation Fails to Abolish ICE”

i’m literally nostradamus

i always wondered why jesus never used his god powers to get off the cross, but then i realized he’s like a vampire, but instead of a stake through the heart it’s nails through the hands

neil “the grass” tyson

they’re defintely the same family. still not the same tho

fake: anon wants to be fit

gay: anon likes bears

don jr would be a better president than his dad. he’s still an incompetent fascist but at least we might get legal blow out of it

when i was growing up i only knew lynyrd skynyrd as a good thing to play in hangman. but you can only do it once, after that they’re gonna be like “is this that band that doesn’t have vowels again?”