I sympathize with wanting to feel comfortable and connected with a partner. I hope you can find an arrangement that makes you happy.
I also totally know the feeling of finding little passages or pieces of art or media that I really emotionally resonate with and struggling to communicate what they mean to me. I’m not surprised, things like that are so strongly influenced by your own context, but I still find it disappointing.







I’ve had a good experience with TrueNAS scale on bare metal and proxmox in a VM. I don’t have a lot of heavy weight stuff on proxmox though, mainly LXC containers and a few VMs. I also have a VM in TrueNAS for jellyfin that I pass a GPU into. It’s been running that way for several years without issue.