As a kid one of my favourite passages to read was about a girl who saw her twin get ran over by a car and killed. I don’t remember anything else about that book… but I would devour anything sad and traumatic and upsetting. I would absorb those emotions and live those lives, and it would be like a daily catharsis to read something horrifying and cry it out.

I suppose, as long as they actually enjoy it - painful groan or not.

I’m luckily not attracted to people who don’t enjoy my company, hopefully neither are you.

I look like a scared kitten hiding in the corner, except I’m not a cute kitten, but rather looks like a mini-tiger. That was what I was like in school.

You should write that autobiography. I think you have a way with words.

You can write something for yourself and for other people to understand you through, without the intention of leaving it behind. Leave it alive instead. You can do it and carry on. You can know their reactions instead of wonder, if you decide to show them. And you can work through your experiences through writing. Preferably while being in contact with a support group or therapist, because writing it will for sure drag it up.

the poster child for window-licking buffoonery.

I’ve never heard this before. It’s amazing.

When someone laughs at my jokes they instantly become more attractive.

It’s not the only thing needed to make someone hot - I don’t think I know of one thing that would do the trick regardless of anything else… but it’s a big leap towards it for anyone, because it combines them laughing and having fun (which is attractive) with making me feel appreciated and included and good about myself (which opens me up socially to feel attraction).

On the flip side, someone who doesn’t laugh at my jokes will become irrevocably unattractive regardless of anything else.

Started taking my workout seriously, and didn’t want to ruin all progress built in rest/recovery by smoking after a workout, and didn’t want to smoke before a session to not smell like shit and be out of breath the whole time. Eventually I was up to working out once or twice a day and found i had zero suitable time left for cigarettes, and at that point I barely missed them anyways. I chilled out with my training but didn’t pick up smoking again, even on my off days. I just reach for my phone instead.

What?

Explain please?

Huel (and sufficient water throughout the day, in addition to the water in the shake).

I can definitely tell when I haven’t had it for a few days.

Limit them to important people and there won’t be much more mental clutter than in the past.

Then you’re still ghosting the less important people, but even more consistently?

Because you want them to have multiple positive adults around them, people who can watch over them in situations where a parent would be too “embarrassing”, that they can learn different perspectives from, that they can ask questions and get answers to stuff their peers would just pull out of their ass.

You want them to have safety in numbers, that there will always be someone available to turn to if they need to talk or feel unsafe.

Plus it’s fun to play schoolyard games and soccer and do seasonal crafts and teach them how to play card games or change tires on a bicycle or put up a shelf or make a cake or how to respectfully greet different animals.

And as a bonus you only have to be responsible for them when we hang out, not every day of the week like a parent has to.

Why wouldn’t you want to be friends with kids?

Next time they talk bad about themselves (saying they are stupid etc), you can tell them that it’s bothering you to hear that, because you like them and want them to be happy feel good about themselves.

You can ask them if they are happy with life, and if they like themselves.

Then instead of asking what they want to do, start with asking who they would like to be. What personality traits would make them feel good about themselves? How would they feel if they could see themselves as someone who tries instead of someone who is lazy, or as someone who is clever or knowledgeable or studious or learning, instead of stupid (or whatever they just called themselves)?

And, before giving any sort of suggestions or solutions or tips (that is the hard part!), ask if you can make give some tips and if they’re open to discussions/ideas. Confirm what you’ve learnt in the conversation (they dislike X and would want to feel Y, you care for them and want to support them in feeling better about X or working towards feeling Y), maybe even thank them for being so open/vulnerable/honest with you, and that you would like to work on this with them if they’ll let you.

If they say they are happy where they are and would not want anything to be different, or if they don’t want help when you ask to give it (this is the hardest part) - drop it. You can mention that you’re always ready to bounce ideas if they change their mind later, but then you change the subject. Don’t give any tips or hints or anything, unless they ask for it. If you find something that might be in their wheelhouse, ask if they want the info before you pass it on (“I saw that they have a gaming club at the library, is that something you’re interested in/curious about?” Or “I got a flyer for a coding camp, do you want me to send it to you?”).

Finally, try to avoid the “you should try it”-finisher after talking about something fun you’ve done. If they think it sounds fun enough they can ask about more details, but if you suggest it the whole story might just turn from something fun to something else they should (but never will) do.

And finally finally: sometimes people grow apart. If they’re not putting effort into the friendship you don’t have to carry the whole relationship. Hopefully you still have fun together and the care and attention goes both ways, but if it’s not it’s absolutely fine to redirect your energy to other people who might be valuing your time and energy and enjoy your company more, and develop those relationships instead.

I know I personally would be a lot more distracted and probably perform worse at my job if I was being recorded, and don’t work with a fraction of the pressure of healthcare. I’d rather my surgical staff is comfortable and focused than have my curiosity satisfied.

If the staff is fine and comfortable with it it would be fun to have a recording, but I wouldn’t demand it.

Bicycle for sure. I’m going to get one fitted for winter and hopefully be able to use either depending on weather all year round going forward.

Dishwasher. It might not have paid for itself in money but in peace of mind - how I hate doing dishes. It ruins my day and stresses me out, so not having to deal with it has been truly valuable.

Hiking boots. They’re meant for summer hiking but I use them all season, but with studs in winter. Have saved my ankles and feet from twisting, blisters, heat and cold.

Is this an actual definition or yours? What’s the difference between wealthy and rich?

No iron

Huh. I always assumed that based on the time period and how involved the characters were in all the cultural chaos of their times, plus her involvement with drugs and the free love-movement… it probably wasn’t actually spelled out in the film though, so that’s on me.

I’ve heard of the insanity that is the book, but somehow missed the years-long chess games. I’m even more afraid to read it now haha.

I believe this is one clear case where visual media has the upper hand over the story, as when we can see it happen it becomes somehow less unlikely than merely reading about it, because the “proof” is visible right there (though this might be because I don’t have a mind visual when reading, it’s fully an emotional and mental experience).

Also the lack of communicating with space apes…

Forrest Gump.

So there’s this middle aged man waiting on a bus and telling his life story to whichever strangers happens to walk by, and he like fought in Vietnam and got a medal from nixon and showed his ass on national television and became a pingis champion and started a successful fishing company and became a millionaire and gave Nike their slogan and ran across the continent and… Oh, and he’s mentally disabled and about to meet his son for the first time because the sons mom is dying of aids.

Absolutely bonkers premise, and such a fantastic movie still today.

In my language the saying is “don’t spit against the wind”, not piss.