I don’t know, I’ve lived like this for the last 10 years and it’s kind of hollow, everything feels meaningless, just floating through life. Like yeah I can cook whatever I want, play any videogame or music in my free time whenever, work on whatever wacky project I want, go to wild parties if I want, etc, but it’s gotten old. I want to change, but it seems like the only people that want the whole marriage and kids deal are quite religious, and I don’t gel with that either.
As someone who’s now lived both sides of the coin, I know precisely this feeling. I remember visiting Scotland solo (I’m an American, I was there for work). I got to see and do some amazing thing, by objective standards a wonderful trip… but doing it solo felt hollow. And doing whatever you want all time, while it certainly has upsides, to me it kinda felt like exploring the open world of a game you already beat.
For what it’s worth, I have found that while those feelings are no longer present now that I have a spouse and children, I found entirely new anxieties, concerns, and problems to work through. In some ways it involves even more stress - but some of that is due to unique aspects of the path I’m on.
start a monogamous relationship where we both said we … don’t want kids.
Eventually it just kinda happened. Kid was a full on whoopsie where we both said “I’m actually so excited…”
Literal nightmare scenario for me where I finally find someone who seems to be committed to living child free only to have them change their mind after getting pregnant
I don’t know, I’ve lived like this for the last 10 years and it’s kind of hollow, everything feels meaningless, just floating through life. Like yeah I can cook whatever I want, play any videogame or music in my free time whenever, work on whatever wacky project I want, go to wild parties if I want, etc, but it’s gotten old. I want to change, but it seems like the only people that want the whole marriage and kids deal are quite religious, and I don’t gel with that either.
As someone who’s now lived both sides of the coin, I know precisely this feeling. I remember visiting Scotland solo (I’m an American, I was there for work). I got to see and do some amazing thing, by objective standards a wonderful trip… but doing it solo felt hollow. And doing whatever you want all time, while it certainly has upsides, to me it kinda felt like exploring the open world of a game you already beat.
For what it’s worth, I have found that while those feelings are no longer present now that I have a spouse and children, I found entirely new anxieties, concerns, and problems to work through. In some ways it involves even more stress - but some of that is due to unique aspects of the path I’m on.
My strategy was to start a monogamous relationship where we both said we didn’t like marriage and don’t want kids.
Eventually it just kinda happened. Kid was a full on whoopsie where we both said “I’m actually so excited…”
[Edit: this was not actually a premeditated strategy that’s a joke]
Literal nightmare scenario for me where I finally find someone who seems to be committed to living child free only to have them change their mind after getting pregnant
Yeah super lucky because we both at first tried to be coy about it since we both assumed the other was still going to be upset.
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