I once did a BOGO footlong deal at Subway and ate both. It still haunts me.

Laws do not apply to them if they’re not benefiting them.

There’s all kinds of amazing heists in modern history. Sadly, most end with them getting caught because they were stupid

When Elon dies, dozens of children will lose their father, but not a parent.

Read “The Hero with a Thousand Faces” by Joseph Campbell. Myths repeat through cultures and influence every story that follows. We’re constantly recycling

My grammy is 100 and eats Taco Bell and Pringles all day.

Less biased too

People are scum

Cool your tits, reverse-Sherman

Texas A&M ousted their president a month or two back because some snowflake student got upset about genders and called down the Conservative assholes.

It looks like those magnets you put on the fridge

They’ll outsource to India and there will be no one in the US capable of competing

And literally 99% of their userbase will stay on Windows.

“Fifty First Reboots” starring Adam Sandler

Gwen Stacy from Spider-verse is a perfect example

The ears are too big

I like chopping celery because the pitch of the chop changes as you move from a big end to the small one

Reverse Uno!

Uoohh, uoohh

Fart